Okay, so I’ll start with what I missed in the yesterday’s post. The hosts of the show, Ranveer Shorey and Drashti Dhami. Okay, Drashti is like cute and all, although she cheeses me off with her for bahu act, but otherwise she is quite pleasant to look at, or whatever. But Ranveer, you are a disappointment bro. I mean, script ratt kar aaya hai kya? Just ekdum pheeka pheeka directly straight-away bol deta hai. Apni bezzti mat kar bhai, yaa toh host karna seekh le, ya fir ja, literally, I can’t believe I am saying it, but seriously, tujhse acha toh Manish Paul hi tha. Buck up dude, Konkana kya sochegi?
Moving on, the day started with the so called, much awaited performance of Madhuri Dixit Nene. Now, should I even state the obvious? MD, you and I, we need to talk. Babe, once upon a time you were hot and all that, but that’s in the past now. Look, it breaks my heart each time when I see your disappointingly performances. Because what I expect from you is that wow factor. Which was there till Devdas, and after that there was just a series of disappointments and heart failure. It’s good you attempted Paso-doble or whatever the thing is called; so you are trying to reinvent yourself, which is sweet and all that, but can you please just try a bit harder. And what’s with trying to look all that sexy and hot? You look fat, okay? And these clothes that you wear, they are just not meant for you. I love you, and that is why I want you to try harder for me. I know the MD I fell in love with is still there somewhere. Stop being what the industry might be forcing you to be and express yourself fearlessly and unabashedly. All this looks just so fake and plastic dude. Please, if you are reading it, or any of your PR agent is, then please, take it is a cue to stop doing what you are doing, introspect, and then reinvent yourself.
Anyway, never mind, because the performance that followed totally made up for all the heartache of MD’s dance. Shakti Mohan, my darling cutiepie sweetheart, you are and apple of my eye! I have been dying to watch your performance and those 5 minutes totally made up for everything. God! You give me hope, dear one. You inspire me to get up and dance. I love you for being you. Keep dancing love, I need to watch you dance ever so often. Regards, Teri Deewani. <3
Okay, further on, I am really curious to know what Sonakshi was thinking when she chose to wear whatever she wore. And Akshay literally ab budha lagne lag gaya hai, especially when he was flirting with beautiful Puja. I mean, it’s cute. Can we have these actors playing some might roles of their own age? Anyway, that’s really none of my interest. These celebrities were boring (for me), so let’s proceed.
Akshat and Vaishnavi, two of chotu packs – okay, MD has used that phrase so much that it’s almost a cliché now, but guys, everyone, you have got to watch Akshat and Vaishnavi perform man! And to Akshay dancing with Akshat, I have got only one thing to say – Akshay, rehne do tumse nahi hoga! Rehne do. Akshat khaa gaya tumko, bina dakaar maare. Aap chalo aago badho. Namaste.
And then, quite abruptly, the show thought of treating us with some sad story, soapy monologue and dirty visuals of some Indian ocean or sea, with Sreesanth going on about his life. Bdw, Sreesanth, sweeto, good ya. Nice performance. I hope some people do vote for the poor chap. Mera toh Purab, Ashish, aur Shakti ke baad toh balance bilkul nahi bachega. Okay but wait a second!
KJo, kuttiya that you are again, aankhien kese khul gayi na tumhari jab suna ki Sreesanth possessive hai. Hadd hai, mera banda khaa ke chain nahi mila tujhe? Ab Sreesanth bhi chaiye? Betha rahe, jo kaam karne aaya hai, bass wahi kar. Mere bando me doore na daal.
And talking about my banda, awww…Purab!!! Kya romance karta hai, dance toh kuch tha nahi, bass tum deewar se latak rahe the. It was difficult and all that, I know, next time baby, strip a little, show some of your tanned and toned body, and make me proud. Also, do more of romantic numbers baba, you look super cute and I blush each time looking at you. Good boy, keep it up. :* And guys, you have just got to see this Purab Kohli’s wild stone commercial, in order to really get this man’s intensity! Here’s a preview:
Ahem! Vote4Andy, Vote4Andy!!! Yay, here comes the elfin fairy, my seeto Andy! That car wash jig was completely hilarious, sure, but other than that, you need to buck up biatch! Show some fire in your dance, go all lesboish with your choreographer and set the stage on fire lass! I know you have got it in you. Shine now! :*
Kritika, did I just see your Va-gi-jay and your arse? Really? Okay, never mind the disturbing costumes, it was quite frankly a boring act, made good only by the visuals. Try hard next time. :)
Finally, the sizzling sirens came back on stage. Salman and Lauren, wow guys! I so wish I could have the body of Salman and the killer booty and dance moves of Lauren. It’s so heart-warming arousing looking at the two of you dance. Keep it up my bitches. :*
And so the show ended. It was pretty okay, but for Shakti’s performance, totally worth it! :D And since I have got boring work to go to tomorrow, I’d just end the post like that. Yeah, abruptly. So good night now! And for the sake of my own existence, I’ll try churning out some meaningful (and might I say, witty as my first blog post) content again. Until then, tadas! xOxOxO!